1 Now it beseemeth proper that record should be made of the manner of speech of the Goldingites, for verily they natter
in a strange tongue upon all manner of things—yea, verily of their chiefs do they conceive names, which, albeit they be
sometimes witty after their fashion shall not be recorded herein.
2 Yea also among themselves do they bestow names of strange character, sometime after the manner of appearance arid
sometime after an oddism of him who is singled out for such.
3 For of such names may be mentioned "Moth" for his raiment appeared to be motheaten—of another "Monk," which is
short for Monkey—yet the reason for this seemeth remote since he who bears this name lacketh much of the animal—yea!
even his face resembleth a human's! And yet another is called "Lardy" and another "Spammy," the latter because he loatheth
that which is called "Spam" and which may be bought in the bazaars'for three shekels a tin.
4 And of another ' Treerat'' after the common name for the squirrel which is grey, for he climbeth trees nimbly—yea! Even
to puff the weed of nicotine in secret doth he climb among the branches—and one there is which is called "Pongy" for he loveth
the mess of oats which is called porridge—-and yet another called "Puddle" for his surname is Pool—and "Taffy" and "Yorky",
yea and even "Flossie" and "Milky", such names being of themselves apparent.
5 Now the Goldingites among themselves as has been aforetime written speak of many things by strange names whereof
we could .give many examples.
6 If thou shouldest pass through the tents of these people when the evening candles have been blown, and should chance
upon two or three conversing amongst themselves (which is against the law) thou shalt sometime hear "Dygsi—nyghtgrog
scramme" which being interpreted meaneth "Look out, here cometh the nightwatch-man! To thy tent—lest he catcheth thee,"
7 And of many things do they speak by the name "grog", of such do they call water, tea, hair cream, yea even the juice
which supplieth the candles within their tents.
8 And thou shalt sometimes hear of a summer eve the cry "Never mind, eh!" called after him who carrieth his weapon
back to the pavilion lacking runs. This is interpreted as meaning consolation for a "duck," which is a term used in the game of
crick-et and indicateth that'he who walketh to the pavilion has scored a "blob."
9 And he that is clever at his craft or doeth something that needeth brains sometimes calleth, forth the saying "Proish"
which meaneth professional" and is a considerable commendation from the local citizens.
10 Yet again thou shalt hear pudding called "Plonk" and porridge "Pongy". A crust of manna do they call a "Topper" and
a slice of manna do they speak of as a "Jinner."
11 Of foot covering they do speak in various ways — such as "cheeses," "hymn books" and "skin-boots." Of certain
other ornaments, such as were worn .before the great conflict, do they refer to as "lamp-wicks" or "bootlaces".
12 Verily of a truth thou mayest.hear these words "Coo! chew aht." Interpreted this meaneth something with which they are
not in agreement—yea! even a swindle.
13 "Toshiiig out" meaneth to clear up and "gosh" that which is wasted. Yea, even unto food for swine and the dust of the floor
do they comment thus.
14: And of many other sayings could one scribe, save only that the papyrus runneth out, and the stylus groweth heavy,
i Now it came to pass that Areffdubbelyu commanded that the badge of the tribe shall be changed, "For,"' saith he, "thou hast a
new status within the land. Yea verily dost thou compare favourably with the tribes known as secondary, wherein is great value
for thee when thou goest forth amongst men.
2 ' 'Therefore I have said to my chiefs;—think upon these things and bring me a badge that shall have the tradition displayed upon
3 And they brought unto him many designs and the choice did fall upon one "Tem-pest" a craftsman of great cunning in
wood and a painter and drawer of good repute.
4 Now this is the badge of the tribe which Areffdubbelyu commanded to be worn:—
A shield of silver, three quartered barred, bearing within its bars the motto: "Finis Coronal Opus", which meaneth "The end
crowns the work." Charged thereon lie five heraldic bricks guled and packed, these signifying the builders with bricks which
are to be, likewise incorporating the wood carvers and the makers of cabinets, for are they not also builders? Yea, verily they
are! Also two shoes guled, imposed, mediaeval sinister which signifieth the sandal makers, who are cunning with leather, yea!
and rivets and studs. Beneath the bar lieth a book open, sabled, and imposed W.B.T.S. on the pages thereof which signifieth
"William Baker Technical School" and hath a double inclination—yea it signifieth on the one hand the writers upon papyrus
and on the other the labours of them that teach—yea! even the teaching of the scholars who wear a hood as has been aforetime
mentioned—very brainy types, these! and great eaters of fish and turnips. Lastly subordinated and superimposed shalt thou
observe flowers guled with leaves vert which signineth the horticulturists.
5 Yea! of a truth a very snappy badge and worthier than that aforetime worn.
6 Take heed therefore, my sons, of the motto, and fail it not, for no more fitting epitaph can man earn upon his demise than
that is end shall crown the work of his life. Verily I say unto thee— wear thy badge with pride—see to it that thou art an
Honoured member of' thy tribe and at thy passing men shall say of thee: "Of a truth this place and this world loseth a good man."
7 Now of the further doings of the Goldingites shall they not be chronicled in the hereafter, by some other who shall come
after me—or even by another who is of thy company now. Brethren! I salute you! Finis Papyratum et Scribo! which meaneth,
here's an end of the paper and Screebo! Vale!