Wit and Humour
The shortest ever
One day a teacher asked a class to write a composition on a football match, but one small boy found that he was
absolutely stumped, and could not write a thing. He thought ,and thought, and wracked his brains, but the ideas
would not come. At last, just as the period was about to finish, he had a bright idea, and when the master looked
At his book, he found these words: “RAIN NO PLAY”.
Q. Do you want to buy a battleship?
Q. What colour?
“Do you remember”
One sunny afternoon late Spring 1964, the top academics of Goldings were gathered in the school block in
Anticipation of the next lesson by Mr. Brookes. As usual the Jack the Lads of the school were gathered at the back
of the class hoping to do a little trade, hoping that Mr. Brookes didn’t notice Perrier with his Baccy, Angell with his
porno, and many more goings on. I sensed that Mr. Brookes was in a foul mood, he stormed in and said “Woods,
Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?” Woody somewhat taken aback uttered “wasn’t me sir, so you can’t
Blame me, just got back from Pin-- Mr. Wheatley’s office. The class was dumb struck, and I may add for the first
time I Can remember Angell whispered “We’re for it now, who’s knocked down the walls of Jericho? I bet it was
them Hills in Cairns. The class continued with the thought of the full outcome of this stupid act to affect us all in
due Course, we’ve done some stupid things in our time, but to knock down a wall, I bet it was one of the Boot
Makers Sniffing the glue. Break time came, and Mr. Brookes was talking to Bob Newton, and repeated the earlier
events “I asked that fellow Woods in first lesson who knocked down the walls of Jericho? Do you know what he
said” Bob Newton sipping his tea said “and what was his answer?” He said “it wasn’t me sir” “there you go then if
Woods said it wasn’t him that knocked down the walls of Jericho then it must of been someone else ”said
Mr. Newton. On The evening there was a staff meeting in Mr. Wheatley’s office. Mr. Brookes got talking to
Mr. Wheatley, and went over the days events, and said to Mr. Wheatley “today I asked one of our pupils who
knocked down the walls of Jericho? And his reply was not me sir ,I was talking to Mr Newton at staff break ,and
when I mentioned I had asked this stupid student Woods who knocked down the walls of Jericho? And the fact that
he hadn’t, to which Mr. Newton replied “If he said he didn’t do it then I would say he didn’t do it, try that Pete
Drummond he looks the Type to me” Mr. Embleton was overhearing this conversation, and said to staff gathered
“I can’t help but not pass an opinion on our dilemma, it looks like someone has knocked down the walls of Jericho,
Don’t worry about It I’ll send round Mr. Tempest in the morning to measure up we’ll soon put that right.
THE EVENTS AND CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY MAYBE PURELY FICTIONAL .. YES OR NO.
Dave Blower 62-65.