Welcome to the Goldings Guest Book ** We APPROVE all messages before they are posted ** Add a message : back to Goldings.org : Search There are now 5688 messages in our guestbook. <<< 1 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 1138 >>> Viewing messages 4721 to 4725. Columba livia: mother and baby pigeon But baby pigeon said, "I can't make it; I'll get too tired." His mother said, "Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine." The baby started to cry. "What's wrong?" said the mother. "I don't want to be pigeon towed!" Sitting on a branch overlooking the parking lot, the pigeons watched as a Mercedes pulled in below them. "What do you think?" one bird said to the other. "Should we put a deposit on that car?" 12 July 2007 - Pigeon Street ANGELL | tonythepainter1@aol.com chuffinora, the sites gone dead whats wrong with pigeons? all I said was what happened in Rotherham. Tony 12 July 2007 - hk hk ANGELL | tonythepainter@aol.com A major flood hit on Monday evening.Epicentre: Sheffield, England. News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "chuffinnorah". The flood decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station Sheff FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Winn Gardens. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning". Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal. So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher. Can You Help? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster. Clothing is needed most of all, especially: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers), Shell suits (female), White sports socks, Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal. Please do not give anything that requires peeling. Remember: 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9 £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russell’s Please do not send tents for shelter as this may to cause many to leave earlier than usual for their summer breaks in Skegness and Mablethorpe and these towns are already suffering under the strain of a mass influx of Maltby residents"Chufinnora, its bin a reight carry-on." 8 July 2007 - Rotherham Floods Kent crimewatch team Did you hear about Peter Drummond,they broke into to his works Tesco's Wednesday,and he witnessed it.The Police asked him to re-call the event in an attempt to aprehend the bounder. "Well Mr Drummond tell us what happened" the detective enquired. "This van pulled up,and out jumped an elephant! smashed the window and sucked up all the money with his trunk? At this the detective was somewhat puzzled."Now look Peter are you sure because Tommy Hill reckons you have a few tots of rum in the day, an Elephant! "Yes on Dave Blowers life,it was an Elephant" The detective decides to follow this line of enquiry. "Can you tell me Peter was it African or Indian,one's got bigger ears than the other?" "Couldn't tell at the time it was wearing a mask." 6 July 2007 - Whipsnade Zoo Peace and quiet at last Took the wife out last night...it only took one punch!! 6 July 2007 - In the doghouse <<< 1 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 1138 >>> You can search this guestbook by: Message : - Name : - All : Please type some text: - Guest book sponsored by PC Home Help (01922) 626 366 - http://www.pchomehelp.net -